In Geneva there was never anything to do, but there were people to do it with. Here, there are thousands of things to do but no one to do them with. I miss making friends.
I don't want to do this anymore. If I felt more appreciated, maybe I wouldn't mind so much. I'm getting really fed up. I am just sticking it out until I find out about schools here in London. I'm looking for schools in the U.S. too. I need a break from raising someone else's children.
I still have basically no social life. I'm getting so down. I was crossing the street the other day and saw a car from far away coming and though, "what if that car was going really fast and it hit me?" Maybe I'd meet a cute doctor at the hospital. I'm not seriously considering hurting myself, I should note. I crossed the street and I do not walk in front of cars, knowingly at least. I don't like pain. I can only imagine that a car smashing into me and potentially breaking bones hurts a lot.
