So it has come to my attention that my blog is borderline manic depressive and needs some zoloft. I think the only reason that this is so is because I am very busy when I am not busy being down on life! I have since made some friends in London, although no locals, my French friends are really great and I love to hang out with them. I felt like the odd man out sometimes since they were all in relationships, mostly long distance, and I was one of the only single ones, and the only single girl in the group. I always like to go have lunch or go do anything with Charlotte and Samantha. We went to a vintage fair and had a great time together all day wandering around looking at really old clothes and then just wandering around London on the bus.
I have also since started seeing someone. No, not the guy from the train. He never called. >:P Whatever, as they (I) say. As my mom says, “he’s just. not. that. into you!” Thanks Mom. So since the start of school in September I have gawked at Nika’s teacher from afar, sticking around a bit longer to say good morning, or showing up just a few minutes late so most of the kids are gone from class to be able to squeeze in a few niceties. After drop off I would walk out the back door of the school so I could peek in the window to maybe catch a glance at him and see if he even saw me. I was happy to take Nika to Saturday morning soccer since he was one of the teachers leading it. I even got a whole 3 minutes one day of talking to him. All I learned was that he was going to the US for a big chunk of the summer by himself. I told him of my trip to Iceland that I was taking and he asked, “oh really, who are you going with?” It was a question easily left vague enough, but I made it clear I was going by myself because all my friends were busy. No mention of a boyfriend. I once had to ask him for the other teacher’s phone number to organize tutoring and I almost asked for his as well, ya know, just in case. ;)
Basically, besides the general good habit of not looking like a slob and making one’s outfit match or trying to make oneself look nice, he was the reason I was wearing different outfits and even brushing my hair in the morning. In New York I had it tied back basically every day. All that being said, did I get even the slightest inkling that he might take somewhat of an interest in me? NO! But I did it anyway. I talked about him with other nannies of boys in the same class and even my boss and one of her friends. One of the Easter fair silent auction items was a night out with Nika’s teacher and a couple of other male teachers from the school. I told my boss that I’d buy that and just take Nika’s teacher and she laughed and said “yea me too!”
The other nanny, Olya immediately said what she said about the train guy and other guys I would point out to her that I thought were attractive: “maybe he’s gay”. Her case was crushingly good. He’s very good looking, he’s well dressed, well groomed, and the biggest one, he works with little kids. Not many men can handle kids and even fewer have any patience with them. If I didn’t love her, I’d have been really angry with her for planting this seed. I even talked to my boss about it. She was convinced he wasn’t gay. I’m not a crazy stalker or anything but I did what any girl in this day and age does. I facebook-stalked him. His profile picture was him and another guy hugging. Damn. She was right. Inconsequential! I’d try anyway.
So one of my lonely roaming days off I went to the British Museum of something-or-other and after I went to a book shop that I found. I was thinking of him and his trip to camp across the US this summer when I bought Jack Kerouac’s On The Road to read and then give to him. I decided to skip all the forwards so I could finish it before Nika went on Easter break (for the entire month of April) instead of my original plan of giving it to him before summer to read while he was on the road himself. I wrote my name and location in the book which is something I always do with books I intend to exchange at hostels while traveling, but also included my phone number. When I went to give it to him I was super nervous! It was the day of the Easter fair at the school and there was another mom coming so I just stood there outside the door holding this book facing him waiting for the mom to pass and feeling my cheeks turn red. The confidence I had when I had left home had faded and I was the girl putting herself up for rejection, if he even noticed what I had written. I gave it to him and feebly mumbled that I thought he should have it since he was going to the US and it’s about a guy who travels across the US a few times and it was an American classic and he said thank you and seemed really happy about it. I walked away and was telling the other nanny, my counterpart with Nika and Danny, that I felt like an idiot and so stupid for doing that. Practical as she is, she brushed me off like I was being silly and said, “why? Just forget about it.” She knows that I have had a thing for him basically since she started working with us.
That afternoon I get a text saying thank you for the book and that I should really let him take me out for a drink to say thank you properly. Basically I died. I was elated. I couldn’t stop laughing and smiling. Olya was there, as always, and she was laughing at me laughing and getting so excited and she said “Angela, don’t get your hopes up. He’s English. He’s proper and maybe he’s just doing it to be nice.” I didn’t care, I was going to be happy and not let her maybe-he’s-gay banter interfere with my ecstatic mood. It took me a long time to even be able to reply. I was lucky that I was in the little kid play section of this museum so that my excited laughing and giggling was drowned out by kids running and yelling. I was so ridiculously happy I could scarcely contain myself.
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